September 10th, 2008 by BlogRmom

I think the line I’ve said 1000 and 1 times on this blog has been “Parenting is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” And it’s true. I’ve learned yet something new and rather disturbing to me. 2 of my good friends have recently been effected by adoption. They both read this blog, however their situation is MUCH different then mine. So I am not going to elaborate on that. But it did get me to thinking and I did have a talk with my mom. Back when I was a child we went through things to have my step father adopt me. But I find out now it never went through. My bio father was incarcerated at the time and for whatever the reasons the papers were never signed (with a notary) and given back to my mom and step father on time for court ANY of the times. I don’t know if this meant my bio dad was contesting it or what. My bio dad is pond scum. When I was 18 I looked him up. I carried a relationship on with him for about 1 year. He never called me. I called him. He wanted everything, but put no effort. He was excited to say I was his daughter, but in the same breath treated his new wife’s children (who were NOT his at all) better then me. I didn’t want to deal with it so I stopped calling him. Around this time I got pregnant with my daughter. He got wind of the news and started calling ALL the time. It was stalkerish and weird. I finally answered one day and asked him not to call. I wrote him a letter that basically told him my feelings and that he was NO father I wanted and the only father I knew was my step father, who was MY father and that for all sakes and purposes my child would only know THIS man as her grandpa. And it’s always been that way. Well see my bio father is a sneaky self centered asshole. He would do the very thing I am about to say. In the state of Wisconsin, we have “Grandparents Rights“. This statute states “If one or both parents of a minor are deceased and the minor is in the custody of the surviving parent or any other person, a grandparent or stepparent of the minor may petition for visitation privileges with respect to the minor, whether or not the person with custody is married. The grandparent or stepparent may file the petition in a guardianship or temporary guardianship proceeding under this chapter that affects the minor or may file the petition to commence an independent action under this chapter.” This honestly scares the SHIT of of me. I do not want him to ever see my children, let alone have visitation with them, and OH MY custody of them?!?! That would KILL me (if I wasn’t already dead).

There are ALOT of stipulations that go along with this law and it’s not as easy as it may seem, but the fact is, it very well could happen. If something happened to me, I could see my bio dad trying this. I could VERY MUCH see him trying this. Travis would fight him tooth and nail and may even put himself out on the line with the law because he knows how I feel about my bio father (who by the way was incarcerated for abuse and rap). I would never EVER want him NEAR my kids. However, if something happened to both Travis and I and the kids went to the person assigned in the Living Will that we had made, we can’t guarantee a fight wouldn’t be. That brings me to now. My adoption with my stepfather never went through. So here I sit. I’ve contacted a lawyer and I am making sure everything is all legal, but it appears the first thing that I have to do is file to have my bio father’s name removed off my birth certificate. I can do this on my own because I am over the age of 18. I do not know if there are fees or if my bio father will be notified. I do not know if he contests if that matters since I am a legal adult. The lawyer was actually going to look into some things and going to have to call me back. So I am awaiting that call. I can really leave it at this. With no father’s name on the birth certificate. I really chose not to do that though. I want to honor what my parents wanted and I want my step father to know that I do appreciate him being my father all of my life and that it HAS made and impact on me. I want him to know that my kids don’t just call him “grandpa” but that he really IS grandpa!! It’s important to me, to our family. So I will go ahead and add him to my birth certificate and finalize all of that with the adoption. I am just in shock. I am just scared. I don’t know which way to turn. I am amazed that I never thought about this before. I am scared if  something happens that this bio father freak would use his rights to defy me and everything I’ve ever believed in and taught my children. This just has to happen. It’s all too much to bear!!

On another note… I’ve been incredibly sick for the last 2 days. I am starting to feel a bit better now. The ringing in my ears has stopped, but my poor headache is still there. I finally ate some soup today. And I’ve been drinking orange juice throughout the day.  I feel run down.  I’ve slept so much in the last 2 days that I can’t even begin to count the hours. It’s crazy!! My hubby is off today and tomorrow. It’s a good thing because I can fully re-coop and have him here to help. Our wine came today from wine of the month club. Usually that is a good day for us. We will have a nice dinner and we will enjoy a glass of wine, but not tonight. It will probably sit on the cupboard for a week until I am feeling better. I don’t even have the urge. I haven’t even have Xavier this week because I’ve been so sick. Okay well I am off to lay back down. I just thought I’d blog this quickly while the thought was fresh and I was waiting for the meds to kick in again. I’ll be back to update more when I have more to say!!

July 29th, 2008 by BlogRmom

July 12th, 2008 by BlogRmom

July 9th, 2008 by BlogRmom

I decided to pull up my cpanel and check out the top keywords searches that revealed MY blog on Google and other search engines…  I laughed so hard… ready…

complaints about pure romance (self explainitory)
Movie
because
thought
google
bloggervention
required (hmmm)
Adult content seller (okay!)
george (are you laughing yet)
purchased (rofl)
nyquil (I am so done… I lost it… )

So what do required, adult content seller, george, purchased and nyquil have in common with my blog? I am not sure… here’s what my imagination thinks…

George was required to do some community service. He got caught drinking Nyquil while driving. He was upset, so on his way home he happened to have purchased some KY Jelly. So all he needed now was an adult content seller to get himself a fun little movie and perhaps a toy… He could then have a night of relaxation before he needed to but anymore thought into tomorrow. All this because he was irresponsible!!

There you have it folks!! That should be wonderful for the search engines!! BLAHAHAHAHA!! And with that… I say GOOD NIGHT!! Oh and a goodnight link: Check out travel insurance.

July 7th, 2008 by BlogRmom

Do you understand that statement? Maybe I speak a forgein language? Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear… YOU ARE N-O-T CUTTING H-E-R HAIR! Did you get it that time? Every fucking time my mother in law comes over here this discussion comes up.  She wants to cut my daughter’s hair. I say no. We fight. Everyone leaves. I am the bitch. WTF?!?! Seriously, she’s MY kid!! I will decide what gets done with her hair. The meer fact that I do not braid it or put it up everyday or do something fancy EVERYDAY doesn’t mean that it needs to be CHOPPED off. She sees my daughter 4-5 days a month… today, for example, she comes over… She’s been in the pool all day. Anything that WAS done with her hair is no longer. It’s 6pm. So let’s chop it off. Her defense? “You have short hair.” UGH! I am also a GROWN woman…

Okay let me explain.  When I was younger, my mom cut my hair short. Bobs, short hair cuts. To this day it drives me CRAZY and pisses me off that I had “boy” haircuts as a kid. I am NOT doing that to my DAUGHTER! My MIL however doesn’t care… Again I hear “You have short hair.” Someone help!! I am going insane!! So I scream “WHATEVER!” and then she proceeds to ‘explain’ this wonderful idea of a haircut she has. She wants to layer everything, cut it up around her ears, give her bangs, basically shorter then mine… Do the words ‘boy cut’ come to mind? I say calmly “I do not want her having a boy hair cut.” and I get “You have short hair, and it’s a rather butch {boy} cut.” Oh fuck you lady! Your on my LAST nerve! All the while my loving supportive asshole of a husband is agreeing with his mother, and not listening to her wonderful idea of a haircut! She storms out the door to sit in the front yard, with my BIL, his girlfriend, my FIL, my brother and the kids. This leaves hubby and I in the house. I said “Were you listening to her bright idea of a haircut or just agreeing?” He promptly says “I wasn’t listening, I don’t care.” I reply (snippy) with “Of course you don’t care. It’s easier to make me look like the asshole. Would you listen for just one minute?” He replies “I said I don’t care. It’s Mariah’s hair.” I say “So you want her to look like a boy? Because that is what your mom wants to do.” He replies “If that is what Mariah wants then let her. It will grow back.” I reply “Mariah can’t visualize what it will look like. She doesn’t understand. She thinks it’s going to look like Erica’s (BIL’s girlfriend).” He says “It’s just hair!” I reply “You are such an asshole.” and storm off into the bedroom, where I proceed to sit and read a magazine for the next 30 minutes until everyone leaves.

He then wants me to come and look at haircuts on the internet of her. PLEASE! You wouldn’t give me the time of day when *I* wanted to talk about it, you aren’t getting my time now. I know some of you are thinking this is much to little to fight about and there are bigger things in the world, but you know what it’s not entirely about the hair (for those of you that read through that above - thanks for getting it). It’s about my Mother In Law period! She is always causing drama. She’s always getting her way. I love her I do. Don’t take that the wrong way. But I *hate* that she butts into our lives and thinks *she* needs to make the decisions for us. *I* and *I* alone will decide when and IF I cut my daughter’s hair. Mariah wants her hair short. I will let her. I have no problem with that, but it will be a cute GIRL cut.

I will take her to get her hair cut this week at Cost Cutters where I go. I should add, my mother in law is a barber/beautician in a different salon. *MUAH* Or maybe I should get a passport and take off out of the country!! UGH!!